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JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

There used to be a flasher round there

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

Till I set the dogs on him

The Famous Orb · Joined: 28 Jun 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Scarrot B

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

Well if that was your uncle eric it was some candel he had in his hand thats all i can say

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

Missing

Terrygold · Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

I have often seen the phantom flasher playing with his large candle, but the last time I saw him he was gripping his wick with one hand and running like hell across the cricket pitch closely followed by the local constable with old Billy the park keeper a close third, they soon disappeared into Bucks wood when it all went quiet.

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

Terrygold · Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

WOW! I didn't expect that JPW, but I stand repremanded and can only put it down to my medication I must have been overdoing it.
If you take my crutches away how will I get to the Hallowed ground at Saltergate to see my favourite team play? Thinking again, I will probably need more medication after the match.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

and when youve got his crutches JPW give them to that floc of linnets at Saltergate. They need them more than he wants them. How any body can go there and wach that lot I'll never no. If they were playing in our back garden ide close the curtains. And there making a new ground. At least weel be able to go and see the old one geting bull dozed as a change from sniffing out flashers in summersol. I bet therel be a few rats dive out from there.Theres always summet to look forward to.

F Word · Joined: 04 Sep 2009 Posts: 4

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

I bet your a saltergate 2009 season ticket holder – theres 1 born evry year.

Caryl · Joined: 17 Oct 2007 Posts: 5

The View from Upper Brampton

Dear Ed

Please excuse my interjection; the purpose of which is to respond to the allegations made by ‘F Word’ regarding the existence of certain forum members.

‘F Word’: – Welcome aboard the Brampton Bugle. Please spare a few moments to read the Brampton Bugle’s Old Forum pages. (Aka the Brampton Wall). There, or is it here, you will find contributions from some of the people you claim to be figments of the editor’s imagination. You will also note that the same people were highly critical of the editor’s decision to replace the very popular Brampton Wall with the present reader’s forum. As the editor was highly unlikely to criticise his own controversial actions it leads me to conclude that it is improbable that he is impersonating all or any of the people you allege in your maiden contribution.

I was a regular contributor during the Brampton Wall era and I can assure you that whilst I may have been the object of the editor’s fantasies, (he was advised to wear boxing gloves in bed at the time), I am not, as far as I am aware, a ‘figment of his vivid imagination’.

Further you may gather that the editor’s circulation to particular members is perfectly adequate and therefore requires no self induced ‘boost’ such as you claim.

JPW has philosophised on his own existence on more than one occasion, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t exist. It’s just that he’s not sure if he does or not.

There must be human rights issues to consider here; perhaps we will get a ruling from the European Courts of Justice inBrussels one day.

In the meantime I look forward; as I’m sure do others, to your further contribution.

Yours etc

Caryl

JPW · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 79 Location: Walgrove area

F Word · Joined: 04 Sep 2009 Posts: 4

Gone 2

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

Lucky for her only his tongue was hangig out

F Word · Joined: 04 Sep 2009 Posts: 4

And Me

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

Due to plagued plagiarism, especially in the London area Harold Splint has left the building.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

i thought it had gone quite. Whats all this over plaguererism Arny?[/b]

Terrygold · Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

It looks like JPW has ridden off into the sunset in his new Teutonic tank, he seemed a bit down the other day because he hit the wheelie bins with the rear end of his tank. I think he has gone down the wormhole to who knows where, probably gone to get in some practice . Will he be back?

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

well my misses has gone a few times but she always comes back before east enders comes on. she gives the game away by leeving her bingo pen on the mantel peace. i think he meens it this time. has he taken his ratting hat with him . whoos been pinching his stuff - we need to no

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

I promised JPW not to submit to the Bugle on account of belligerent solidarity, but being I have the ear of the great man( and many other parts- some in glass jars) I cannot let Terrygold get away with that last snide and inappropriate posting on the Great Wall of Brampton.

Who was it that said- ‘Confidential conversation becomes a dangerous weapon in the hands of a third party, and self aggrandisement though association demeans all’. Oh it was me.

Remember what Clement Atlas said at the start of World War Three- ‘Loose lips sink ships’. If that isn’t a metaphor for thought then nothing is.

And another thing, I have in my possession a miniature voice recorder. Not a very big one mind you, but quite capable of holding 17,000 hit singles of Kathy Kirby, to give an analogy relative to a captive audience. I’ve not listened too much of it, for obvious reasons, but now and then, sandwiched between passages of mind boggling debate, are snippets of conversation that if fell into the wrong hands ( and even ears for greater effect) could also cause great distress

That is all I can say at the moment- Nurse Bormann is due soon with my geniality tablets, so I must sign off---- Off

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

Just because JPW isn’t here anymore, doesn’t stop us figments from casting and eye over the only thing we have left to talk to nowadays; even though walls have ears. It’s comforting to know that 12 people, all at once, and at a time, are engaged in forum looking at. What does this mean (a rhetorical question, for all with the acumen* of a captive clever Alsatian). Is there nothing on the tele, or are you anticipating a swift return of the ‘Exaggerist’. If you get 12 people at one go without him, then good riddance. Who understands his ramblings anyway? (Another rhetorical suggestion) Not I.
*No it’s not that.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

well theres nothing on the telly thats for sure ecsept derek acora coming on this week to get in touch with michael jacsons gohst. he could have hornted a house when he was alive so lets hope he looks better now hees dead. hees also puting bernerd mathews in touch with a turky with no head. ime going to enjoy that one severly . i like realty shows like that and the news and unvercity challenjed. dose anybody want a pen pal if they like that sort of stuff let me no

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

ps we liked jpw when theres nothimg on the telly

Terrygold · Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

I like anybody when there is nothing on the telly especially Cathy Kirby on my mp3 player when the bin is full.

Ron Pompom · Joined: 05 Dec 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Here

As I have the ear of The Editor of this magnificent and illustrious organ, I've been lumbered with the job of finding out what has been going on, or more to the point, off, recently. Otherwise he's going to want his ear back, which would be dreadfully inconvenient. The great man himself, our esteemed Editor, seems to be more preoccupied with burying people and spawning alarming numbers of children lately, rather than contributing his elequent wit and cunning linguistic skills for the amusement and enlightenment of our discerning readers. He ought to have more sense at his age, but hasn't.

Anyway, what's all this about plagiarism, and why is stuff disappearing?

F Word · Joined: 04 Sep 2009 Posts: 4

Now I’m not that clever, never was, never will be. My teacher said I was about as smart as a smart Alsatian, but we won’t go into that. So bear with me, and all the other ‘not so on the ball’ readers of the Bugle and tell me one or two things. Firstly- How is it that stuff has been disappearing from this forum when I know for a fact that the editor writes all the stuff himself- eh?

Oh, and what’s all this about Plagiarism? Is it anything to with Eyam?

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

Even my dog Bismarck knows the answer to that one. Plagiarism, to put it into words that certain Harry Potter readers would understand, is when somebody nicks your ideas and passes them off as their own. That’s unless you are at university, then to avoid complaints you copy off more than one; then it becomes research.
It was me, as well as S. Fry, Lulu, The Count Basie Orchestra, and William Inger that said- Originality is undetected plagiarism.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

No - I don't like harry potter ither

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

I’ve always been a admirer of you work BBM and now after long deliberation, and your latest revelation about disliking H Potter, I conclude, that without doubt, you must be cleverer than a clever Alsatian.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

If Alsations were that clever they wuddent be police dogs. theyd be out ratting like a propper dog. And if the police were a bit smarter theyd use jack Russels. not even harry potter on a broomstick can get a way from a pair of them.

Terrygold · Joined: 10 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

Does anybody else feel that h.potter could be a future prime minister just waiting for the right time?

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

Only in a parallel universe Terrygold, perhaps a Liberal Prime Minister to boot. Now that would be a revelation; someone you could all rally around, some fictitious character from a story book- sounds about right. By the way, do you want Crappie or Pedigree Chump for your tea?

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

if you vote for cameroon youl all be eating pedergree chum ecsept him.and the only chum heel be having is his chums from eaton.

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

People forget what it was like under the Tories; I don’t.
I even remember what it was like under the Archers, and under Milk Wood. You see, like most of the unemployable, benefit enhanced readers of the Bugle, I am an under achiever, and who was to blame for this? The Tories.

The Watcher · Joined: 21 Nov 2009 Posts: 2 Location: Everywhere

You’re right about blaming the Tories. I blame them for everything. They were the party who stopped our free school milk amongst other things.
I was doing fine until then; nearly reached the top table in reading and was told by our Head Master, Miss Grimace,( not directly mind you, on account that she was allergic to children) that in another few weeks it was my turn to hold the school book.
When the milk stopped, so did I, suddenly becoming less interested in words and more in gazing out the window. In those days you could see Staveley Works (if you stood on a chair and looked through a telescope) but when the milk stopped, I was so busy watching pollution drift up into the sky that I failed my 11 plus.

The Tories even restricted sport to schools north of Luton in case of mass euphoria. That was until 1953 when, because of the Coronation, a Majestic directive, directed local government, through a mediator, and in this case it was Lazlo Spivey, owner and mass producers of sporting bean bags, to deliver a crate of brightly coloured black bean bags to each northern school for use in inspirational sporting activities.
It worked, as I remember; we were all forcibly inspired when we watched the lorry back up to the school yard and unload our crate. Unfortunately, because of shortages, especially trained PE teachers, the crates were not opened until 1955, so the perceived impact of northern sporting prowess was lost to the nation. However, I did catch a glimpse of a bean bag when I was a Brimington Boys School. It was just before the end of term and it was raining. We were supposed to be having a maths lesson but the teacher was in jail so we had a double lesson of double games instead. It was great, four hours of not been shouted at and beaten with iron rods, and although our lone bean bag was in excellent condition, because there were 42 of us in the class, I didn’t get the chance to handle it.
And they say that school days were the happiest days of our lives

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

your lucky - some body ate the beans out of our bean bag

The Watcher · Joined: 21 Nov 2009 Posts: 2 Location: Everywhere

Somehow, I knew you were going to say that.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

i didn’t even no I was going to say that my self till I said it. you must be more sikik than derrick accora.- no wonder your called The watcher. the day the beans went missing we were all lined up and our poccets looked in to. Jigger lees got nabbed becorse had the emty bag bag in his poccet.the teacher said Hey have you blown your nose on this been bag. Then he said heed aten the beans and the teacher went mad and looked down his throte with a torch. We all had a look.Heed got yeller teeth and a dumplin stuck to the roof of his mouth. the teacher said Hey them beans are poisen yool have to get your stummik pumped out. then he said heed put them down the drain and we all went out to look but they werent there. so they sent him to the hospital on the bus to get his stummick pumped out Mick went with him in case he died on the way. They pumped his stummick and the doctor said Hey theres no beans inside him. so he gave him a forrin coin theyd pumped out of some body else. they walked back and kept the bus bus money. Jigger had the forrin coin in his mouth when he got back and the teacher nearly went mad

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

We also had bean bags at our school, but because of ubiquitous shortages, and in this case, beans, our bean bags were packed with pebbles, hand dug from the sands at Skegness by happy and dare I say naive holiday makers ,who thought it was a leisure activity.
When education reached the Staveley area, back in the early 60’s certain people reacted strongly to being exploited, so as a result, the amount of pebbles used to fill each bag dwindled, until some only contained one pebble.
We had several of these bean-light bags as part of our extensive physical education apparatus, and found them just as comprehensive to use as the regular bean- filled ones. In fact, if it wasn’t for an accident during a samurai sword and bean bag dancing display in the school hall, no one would have 'been' the wiser.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

yes they did have things like that at the miners holliday camp in skeggy. one year it was a sand bag filing and mopping up compitsion for the wives. that was after the sea came in in 1952. ireland pit won it that year.

The Famous Orb · Joined: 28 Jun 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Scarrot B

Sorry to break up the nostalgic reminiscing of happy schooldays, but something very important has come to my attention. Someone is flooding the Walton Dam area with
counterfeit ‘Last of the Somersall Whiners’ official calendars.
If anyone offers you a calendar, with pictures of Walton dam, the park area, or both, and hints that they have cost a small fortune to produce, and or, have taken hours of dedicated dedication to complete, then don’t risk the risk of disappointment; for both of you. It takes a trained eye and nerves of steel to identify the real genuine one from the professionally produced imitation forgery. I myself have seen both, have one in my possession, and can tell you, that without a slide rule, I can’t tell the difference.
The secret, that’s if there is a secret to the deception, is in the cleverly described description that accompanies each of the beautifully shot photographs, depicting tranquil scenes from the seasons. That’s all I can say at the moment, Suzan Boil is on the television and I don’t want to miss not recording her and missing her twice.

Arnold Tulip · Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Brampton (west)

Forgeries or not, where can I get one of those colanders?
I’ve heard they’re nice.

Bevan Boy Minder · Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Posts: 30

dont waste your money. theres a better 2010 ratting colender out - its got 12 dead rats hanging from a wire on the front and its better in side so yool no your getting the rite thing. its in the butchers on the kidny counter. a vote for the librals is a vote for the tories in the next pole. thats what them in this town that vote libral need to wake up too