The Brampton Bugle

Impressed of Brampton · Guest

Congratulations on the new forum BB, it's so easy to use even I can do it. Shocked

Depressed of Brampton · Guest

Its a great looking site, yes, but if you cant get JPW, BBM, H Splint and company to take part, then it will be just like any other forum, full of ( and not very full from what I can see) inconcequential twaddle. Not serous stuff that's debated on the old forum.

bonzo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Basket

I agree; most forums are full of people pretending to be someone else, and it's pointless and irritating. At least the Bugle has the integrity to wheedle out these fools and provide a useful resource for sensible members of the public to air their views and discuss them in the knowledge that they will be taken seriously.

Big Jim · Guest

Fools are we? Thats rich coming from some one who pretends to be a dog.

bonzo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Basket

It just so happens that besides being dog, albeit a slightly blurred one, I happen to be something of an armchair psychologist and may be able to offer some help for what is obviously a form of persecution complex. Have you always felt unnecessarily wheedled, or is it just a recent thing?

Bonzo's not my real name by the way, it's just the one I use on here - the picture's real though.

Woof

Little Jim · Guest

I knew a armchair psychologist once; he worked at DFS testing out recliners and preparing them for the world outside the safe surroundings of the factory. He also thought he was a dog, funny that.

Ronnie Pant · Guest

That accounts for a lot. We had some DFS furniture, and it seemed like it had been prepared for the outside world by someone who thought they were a dog. We always go to MI5 now.

The Watcher · Guest

Forget about furniture, what's happened to JPW, and Harold Splint, and BBM, not to mention that posh lady (Sorry I wasnt going to mention her)

If they dont write in soon, then this new forum is doomed.

Guest · Guest

If JPW wont contibute, then I'll do it for him, anything to help stave off inpending doom. I found it printed on an old back copy of the bugle, hung on a nail in Mrs Cackle's outside privy. It was hand written and signed JPW, so it could be genuine.

The Tallest Man Sat Down.

I’ve just found out that in our town,
I am the tallest man sat down.
No cushion on the seat for me.
I need no aid, sat down to see.

When I’m standing, my physique,
Hides the fact that I’m unique.
I am quite short from foot to bum,
So standing up I’m medium.

My school days were not the best.
Head and shoulders above the rest.
Always picked out for detention,
You can’t hide, with a back extension.

People come from miles around.
To catch a glimpse of me, sat down.
It might be silly, but to me,
I love the notoriety.

JPW

Mrs. Florrie Cackle (83) · Guest

Bastard.

Guest · Guest

Wait a minute Florrie, it was you who suggested I use the outside privy on acount of my genital warts. And another thing I didnt steal the paper, if you put your glasses on you'll see it's still there. No I used some of the straw on the floor that the leopard sleeps on.

Mrs. Florrie Cackle (84) · Guest

Oh, it's you Guest - I didn't realise. It must have been some other bastard then, or a discerning collector of rare classic literature. Where's my birthday card?

Albert Guest · Guest

Your card is on the mantlepiece dear, between the photo of Sherpa Tensin and Lulu.

With regard to the mishap in your privy, the purpitrator could have been Regie Bastard from Clay Cross, he was dun a few years ago for stealing poetry from outside lavs.

Florrie Cackle (84) · Guest

Not very big, is it? And why did you tear my photo in half? You know I'm an avid collector of rare erotica.

Albert Guest · Guest

I keep telling you to put your glasses on Florrie, its not a tear its a wrinkle. Even Lulu's got a few.
Oh, and those lines on Sherpa Tensin are glaciers.

Barney Bastard · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:25 am Post subject: We are watching you

My boy Reggie may be a connoisseur of "the blossom and the fragrance of all human knowledge, human thoughts, human passions, emotions and language", as my old cellmate Sammy the Pipe used to say, but he's no thief. Be very careful.

Tim Id from Brampton · Guest

Do you think your lad could get (I don’t mean steal) a copy of that famous poem by JPW called- University Challenged. It was in amongst the H Splint section of the old Bugle forum and alas like many other gems of wisdom, got lost to the nation.

R Bastard · Guest

Is that the one that goes-

University Challenged

When I recall the fifties, it was such a far off dream,
For Secondary Modernists to reach for academe.
The stakes were high; State schools were low,
And then there was the cost.
The entry grade was then two B’s
And I just had a wasp.

JPW

Tim · Guest

Barney Bastard · Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: Family commitment

Ronnie, have you escaped again?

Ronnie Bastard · Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 6 Location: An institution

No, but they let me have a computer occasionally ever since I stopped biting people. Mad Harry Clutterbuck's got that poem tattooed on his wife's arm - he's a big fan. I copied it down before I ate it, it seemed the decent thing to do. You didn't tell me you'd flitted to Brampton, tell our Reggie to stay out of other peoples lavatories and not to dig Grandad's allotment.

Mrs. F. Cackle (84) · Guest

What leopard?

Caryl · Guest

Dear Ed,

The View from Upper Brampton

I must admit that I'm feeling a tad blue. It might be this forum business.

You know The New, Improved Brampton Bugle Exclusive Readers Forum. Improved - what? Are the trading standards people looking for you. If so you've found a good hiding place. Exclusive - yes - Nobody can argue with that - On line at the moment 1 - Most ever on line at one time 3 ( six weeks ago). Is the server plugged in?

I know moments such as this this can be frustrating but you really do need to do something. Take the boxing gloves off if that helps. If you have been taking laxatives leave off for a week or two - constipation can be a wonderful distraction at times like this.

By the way did you watch the Channel 4 programme about DC last night. Thirteen ex Eaton pupils on the Conservative front bench. WOW! That will put an end to GB's bucket banging sec mod brigade by gad. I'm starting to feel better already. Being Blue isn't such a bad thing after all.

Yours etc. - Caryl[/b]

editor · Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 1

Of course it's improved; it's become more exclusive. Do you want the place full of riff-raff?

bonzo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Basket

Oh sorry, I thought it was that Scottish terrier from Stench Street. Don't talk to me about riff-raff; there are actually dogs on this forum pretending to be people - pathetic, I call it.
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Barney Bastard · Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:33 pm Post subject:

bonzo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Basket

Did they find any bones? If so, they're probably mine - I hope you got a receipt.

Apparently they recently found out that some of Joan of Arc's bones belonged to a cat. What is the world coming to?
_________________
*************************
------ Dignity for Dogs ------
Support the Brampton Bugle
campaign against nun baiting.
*************************